The Impeded Stream
sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.
So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled
so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.
Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.
Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.

So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled

so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.

Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.

Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

Train and mega block time with Emmett.

Train and mega block time with Emmett.

sebsational:

sebsational:

How I almost signed over my entire life to Applebee’s for a gift card of an indeterminate amount.

Also their last tweet. Who do they think I am? I went to COLLEGE.

image

image

We kept going.

thisismyfavoritesong and I just couldn’t stop the beat yesterday. ARV left shortly after this tweet. I hope we didn’t get ARV fired.

uncannybrettwhite:

sebsational:

How I almost signed over my entire life to Applebee’s for a gift card of an indeterminate amount.

Also their last tweet. Who do they think I am? I went to COLLEGE.

This is NUTS. 

What kind of scam is Applebee’s running, y’all?! There’s something rotten in the usually otherwise delicious Brew Pub Pretzels & Beer Cheese Dip.

Plate of bacon.

Plate of bacon.

amnhnyc:

This weekend at the Museum: sharks, spiders, and pterosaurs! Oh, my! Whether you consider these creatures frightful or fantastic, you can learn all about them at the Museum right now. 
Here are our favorite posts from the past week:
Don’t worry if you missed the Museum’s #WhaleWash, we posted the footage!
A study led by indigenous people uncovered a grizzly bear ‘highway.’
A diagram that shows our cosmic address at a glance.
Often mistaken for a dinosaur, Dimetrodon was one of the earliest relatives of mammals.
How trapdoor spiders got their name.
A peek into the archives shows the arrival of the Willamette Meteorite to the Museum in 1906!
Have a great weekend!

Or like this, Seb?

amnhnyc:

This weekend at the Museum: sharks, spiders, and pterosaurs! Oh, my! Whether you consider these creatures frightful or fantastic, you can learn all about them at the Museum right now

Here are our favorite posts from the past week:

Have a great weekend!

Or like this, Seb?

flamingatheist:

bookoisseur:

seananmcguire:

camwyn:

invertebrates:

Six-Eyed Sand Spider Burying Herself (x)

NO that flop’n wiggle

I think we have a NOPE gif in the making.

Aw babby’s gonna have a nap.

Someone needs to make sure Anne Wheaton sees this.

Obligatory add of this pic…..

Like this, Seb?

floppyhump:

invocationwithin:

loosetoon:

Early 70’s behind the scenes of Sesame Street with the Muppets.

THIS IS THE BEST PHOTO SET I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED. 

Love!

Protesters waved “Return to Sender” signs, shoved a group of mariachi musicians and waited for a bus of immigrant children that the local sheriff told them would arrive. At one point, they briefly halted a bus before realizing it was carrying children from a YMCA.
My mind forgets
The persons I have been along the way
Borges (via specialedition87)
Weird Al Yankovic Parodies Lorde’s “Royals” with “Foil”
flamingatheist:

party-wok:

all things considered, Aliens With Moogs would be a pretty sweet way to go.

Evil Clowns, I am not surprised.
And Florida - Florida.

I KNEW my fear of sharks was not irrational.

flamingatheist:

party-wok:

all things considered, Aliens With Moogs would be a pretty sweet way to go.

Evil Clowns, I am not surprised.

And Florida - Florida.

I KNEW my fear of sharks was not irrational.

This is what the basement floor looks like when my roommate (kinda) does his laundry before leaving town for a week.  #RoommateShaming

This is what the basement floor looks like when my roommate (kinda) does his laundry before leaving town for a week. #RoommateShaming

U.S. continues to operate without a complete diplomatic toolbox to exert our leadership and advance our security and economic interests across the globe, because a broken Senate confirmation process has left us without permanent ambassadors in 40 countries.

Secretary Kerry, Politico, July 9, 2014 (via statedept)

I can’t think of any other great (let alone “super”) power that behaves like this. The willingness to project weakness and incompetence abroad as the cost if scoring cheap political points at home isn’t worthy of a leading nation.

(via pol102)

WAT!?